Monday, January 27

a note for myself

i'm 20 now. 

wow. i'm old. i'm an adult now. how fast time flies. 

older. more mature. more responsibility. and i have to be responsible to everything that i wanna do, that i am doing and what i've done in life. 

right now two responsibilities that i should be focussing on - family and studies. 

both my grandparents and parents are getting older. after all these years they have been taking care of me. now, it's my time to take care of them. 

i keep on blaming my past for not having a more adventurous one, i keep on blaming everything for the life i'm having. little did i forget that the past is just a memory and now, the present, is the time for me to change and to accept and to be more mature. 

they need me now. and i have no legit reason to say no. after all of the sacrifices they've done for me - should i say no? HELL NO. 

as time pass, i realised that they do need me. 

they need me to be the one taking care of them instead of them taking of me. i'm an adult now. a big girl. a lady. a WOMAN. i can take care of myself. but they can't. they don't have the ability to do so already. 

everybody knows as we grow older, we tend to get sick often and we have less energy to do our routines. and now they're in that phase. the phase where they're depending on the young ones to take care of their needs and their life. 

and i'm in that phase where i have to realise that they need me. 

there's no more time to enjoy. there's no more time to have fun. yeah of course we can have fun sometimes but not all the time. 

watching my grandparents and parents and taking care of them since i finished school - i realised a lot of changes. and i realised that they are getting old. and i have to be their strength. their support. their motivation. i have to be the grown up now. its the other way round. yes, i'm the grown up now. i have to make the decisions, i have to take care of all matters, i have to be the guardian. 

be strong mommy daddy, opah atok. and be strong nadhrah. 

i love you guys. 


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