Thursday, January 30


even though it's usual for me to come home for such a short time....

but this holiday is actually the most memorable one. i spent more time with mommy (like finally!) and it was nice. two weeks is not enough to bond back the mother daughter relationship. but i'm grateful that at least i got the chance :)

it must be hard for mommy since i'm going back to uni this weekend. but what to do..... sem is starting. and i have to be prepared and get ready. both physically and mentally. aiyakk! why so early leyy spring semester? the winter is not even over! T___T

results are not out yet. hannah said one of her lecturers told her its gonna be after the 15th. but i'm soooo nervous right now. ketaq lutut wey! i just hope i get over 60. just over 60 and i'm a happy girl already. it's hard to get 70 so don't even have to think about it. i just hope my essays are alright tho. please please lady luck be on my side T____T

it's time for me to focus more on this spring semester. aim higher. work harder. play less. hehehe. read more and more. i think i've been reading until my eyes are getting sore. damn. i have eyebags now T___T why oh why? at least my skin is still in great condition *flipshair*


i'm gonna miss you mommy. and daddy. and i know you guys are gonna miss me too :p just don't miss me too much. later i cray cray hewhewhew. take care of yourselves. and don't forget to eat your medicines! and eat correctly and eat healthy. no more fast food or junk food! okay? i love you guys.


Tuesday, January 28

the guy who changed my life

let me tell you a story about someone who taught me a lot about life and love.

i knew him through a mutual friend when he added me on YM. i was seriously not a friendly person to begin with and yes, i'm not so good at making friends - especially the opposite sex. yes, i'm outspoken but i use a lot of sarcasm in my vocab and yes, i do swear a lot. most prolly one of the reasons why guys hate me so much (yeah you know guys... they want a lady - soft spoken, gentle, "perempuan melayu terakhir", do not swear and shit like that). and i'm totally the opposite of that.

at first when he added me i'm like wtf? i don't even know you and how the freaking F can you add me on my personal messenger! i was furious so i scolded my friend who gave me my e-mail and he's like "chill. he's cool. trust me when you get to know him, you'll enjoy his company". and yes turned out to be he is the most understanding and caring person i've ever met. i'm mostly on my own and was lonely and he was always there for me. he helped a lot through everything. EVERYTHING.

we met for the first time at the entrance of Petrosains (which is an annually routine for my dad to bring me there) and it was damn i was like a shy barbie doll. Farah didn't thought i would be that kind of girl that will hide behind her just because i was meeting my boyfriend for the first time (mind me, yes he was my first XD). then, that was it. he is sooooo adorable! i went to boarding school and we'll meet from time to time when i'm back home.

he'll come down to ipoh from taiping by bus (since he has no license) and i was flattered by his determination to see me. he does love me very much. i know. when i was in form 2, and he was in his form 4, we got into the same school! yay! yupp, he got into the same school as me. actually i got to know it first coz abang wan told me. that spoiler piece of crap! hahaha. he thought i knew it already coz he thought i called my superman first as the mjsc results went out that day. but i was so nervous so i called abang wan first to calm down but he spilled the news first. so here's the convo:

AW: eh kekasih hati myra dapat mrsm ph
me: oh okayy
AW: ehh okay je?
me: happy laa... hmmm...
AW: myra ni blurr ke ape?
me: *thinking*processing* EH THATS MY SCHOOL!!! hahahaha omgomgomgomg really?!!
AW: see? takkan okay je.

so i was jumping around happily screaming to everyone "omg my boyfriend's in the same school as me!!!" and i called him straight away

me: hyyyeeee *blushing*sengih macam kerang busuk*
sweetheart: hello sayang. how are you?
me: heh. sihat je. so amacam?
sweetheart: ermm abang dapat mrsm ph.
me: waaaa congrats!
sweetheart: hehehe thanks. ermm....
me: heeee kite satu sekolah laa nanti!
sweetheart: hehehe yupp! omg like finally! macam tak sangka je....

and so the rest of the convo is history and private no need to know hahaha. i remembered during the registration i saw him unpacking his stuff from his car to his room (since his room is just opposite mine) :p and so i was soooo excited! i didn't talk to him even though i've seen him like a million times. at the dining hall, at the surau (kat surau pun nak menggatal!) hahaha. sat at the front row and he sat at the back row so senang nak skodeng lol :p and his first words to me was during the orientation night when i sang in front with my team and as i finished my performance he whispered "sedap suara" and i blushed and i just jeling je. marah pulak tu. hahaha. and he laughed "garangnya".

ahhh memories~

and then after that i just tried my best to ignore him and hide from him as i don't wanna meet him. i was so shy! i am. well i was. hahaha. wait, still am. hahaha. until one day (still orientation week) i got the same team as him! i tried my very best to not be in the same team but well orang kata jodoh kan.... hahaha. we had to do a paper helicopter and it's like a competition between teams.

sweetheart: hyyyyeeee *sengih*
me: oh hye *control macho*
sweetheart: so cepat ahh buat!
me: ape orang pulak. dia ah buat! dia ade pekakas.
sweetheart: *campak pencilbox* sekarang dia ada. cepat buat!
me: woyy apasal pulak?
sweetheart: *jegil mata* buaaattt.....
me: *tunduk* okayy :(

everyone on the team was like err... whats going on? coz everyone didn't even know each other and we're already fighting like apebende ntah. hahaha. and the rest is history. we dated a lot back then (since we're in the same school lol) he helped me with my studies and my problems. and every morning i'll paste post it notes on his desk with love notes hehehe :p exchange letters (even though we called each other every night and texted like every second) hahaha.

and the whole school (including the teachers) started to smell something. they couldn't figure out who with who but they knew something was up. and when the students started to gossip (since they found out our myspace accounts) hahahahahahahaha so yeah. many many memories. but the one that i will remember the most would be the sunset event. well i know he still remembers this.

he's like the most almost perfect guy i've ever met. no flaws. has everything a girl wants in her boy. the perfect set. but i did a mistake. i broke his heart. i broke him. and that's the most stupidest thing ever that i will forever regret in my life. even my cousin hates me for that. i shouldn't have done that. but i did. and i'm the guilty one. and i will never forgive myself.

why am i posting this entry about you?

it's his birthday today. happy birthday superman! ^_^ i wished you every year but i think you've changed your number already. i don't think you'll ever read my blog (wait yeah we've lost contact for like forever already) hahaha. but i just wanna say happy birthday! may all your wish come true. semoga panjang umur murah rezeki dan berjaya dalam hidup. whomever that ends up with you is a really really lucky girl. i envy her so much. but i know she'll love you with all her heart and she's definitely better and the best for you. she'll bring out the best in you. and will make you the happiest man alive. i'm sorry for all my wrong doings. you will always have a special place in my heart. and in my prayers.

thank you for bringing out the best in me. making me the happiest girl ever. giving me the best moments in my life. teaching me about life and making me understand what love is. giving me the support and motivation when i was at my lowest point. never give up on me. always be patient with my attitude. love me and care for me like nobody ever did. showing me what love is. telling me that my family always do love me, they just don't have time to tell me or to show me. always be there by my side, be my shoulder for me to cry on. always be the one who wiped my tears and bring sunshine when it's raining. always be my comforter to make me feel comfortable. my personal pillow (he is!) my laughing machine. my clown. my best friend. my brother.

there's nothing that i can do to repay you back for what you've done. for what you've become in my life. and i lost half of my life when i lost you. and that's my lost. i'm sorry again for everything. happy birthday again superman. if you're reading this :) thank you again for everything. take care! ^^v


Monday, January 27

a note for myself

i'm 20 now. 

wow. i'm old. i'm an adult now. how fast time flies. 

older. more mature. more responsibility. and i have to be responsible to everything that i wanna do, that i am doing and what i've done in life. 

right now two responsibilities that i should be focussing on - family and studies. 

both my grandparents and parents are getting older. after all these years they have been taking care of me. now, it's my time to take care of them. 

i keep on blaming my past for not having a more adventurous one, i keep on blaming everything for the life i'm having. little did i forget that the past is just a memory and now, the present, is the time for me to change and to accept and to be more mature. 

they need me now. and i have no legit reason to say no. after all of the sacrifices they've done for me - should i say no? HELL NO. 

as time pass, i realised that they do need me. 

they need me to be the one taking care of them instead of them taking of me. i'm an adult now. a big girl. a lady. a WOMAN. i can take care of myself. but they can't. they don't have the ability to do so already. 

everybody knows as we grow older, we tend to get sick often and we have less energy to do our routines. and now they're in that phase. the phase where they're depending on the young ones to take care of their needs and their life. 

and i'm in that phase where i have to realise that they need me. 

there's no more time to enjoy. there's no more time to have fun. yeah of course we can have fun sometimes but not all the time. 

watching my grandparents and parents and taking care of them since i finished school - i realised a lot of changes. and i realised that they are getting old. and i have to be their strength. their support. their motivation. i have to be the grown up now. its the other way round. yes, i'm the grown up now. i have to make the decisions, i have to take care of all matters, i have to be the guardian. 

be strong mommy daddy, opah atok. and be strong nadhrah. 

i love you guys. 


this is for you.

love is something that we can't lie. and to be honest, it is hard for me to give out my love and to accept someone's love. 

i've once had it. and. i've lost it. 

i love you. i've always had. the time that we spent and the sacrifices that i made and the promises that i said - those were never lies. but probably because we're too young to understand how the world works, and we're too young to not experience our lives, now is not the right time to actually be together. you were my best friend, my soulmate, my love, my protector, my everything. but we're just too different. 

and i know you will read this. one day. and this is my love letter to you. 

when i first saw you, it was love at first sight. i have no idea what gotten into me, but i was madly into you. you're funny, comfortable to be with, a GREAT listener, a brother i never had. i remembered the first time you asked me where am i staying - i literally wanted to run and hide at that time but yeah we were on the bridge so obviously there's nowhere to go. hahaha. silly me =___=

the first time we connected was the moment you gave me my bag, at that time when i stared into your eyes all i can see is you. YOU - the person who i fell in love with. and yes, your eyes are my weakness. your smile is my addiction. your love is my passion. 

even though the time we spent was only for a year, it felt like forever. 

but we're too different. i'm a rebellious person. i hate to be controlled. i hate to be decided. i hate when people start to interfere with my business. all i want is for someone to listen to my complaints, my nags, and to be there for me. no matter what. but also in the same time, give me space for me to enjoy my life with my friends. 

and you can't do that. 

no matter how much i love you, i can't let you do that to me. no matter how much i love you, i need my space to enjoy my life. no matter how much i love you, our differences made it too hard for me to stand you. no matter how much i love you, i wasn't happy most of the time. 

no matter what you will always be the greatest, sweetest memory of mine. the time we spent, the memories we made, the love we shared is irreplaceable. even though i said that i'm okay, but i'm hurt. there's not a single day that i never think of you. to know how are you doing, to know what you are doing, to know that you're alright. but you know i have ego issues. i refrain myself from destroying myself by doing that. 

i'm sorry if it has to end like this. i just can't do it anymore. for the time being. i want to enjoy my life. i want to experience everything that i can experience. and create memories with my friends. my best friends. no matter what you think of them - i love them. if you're saying they're bad influence? i guess you're wrong. i'm their bad influence. not them. nobody can influence me. i have my own ideologies. i plan my life, and the journey. 

who knows probably one day in the future we'll meet again. and this time we're more mature and ready. we know more about the world. and we'll be more knowledgable. macam pepatah "kalau dah jodoh, tak kemana kan?" i want you to study hard, do your very best in everything you do, achieve your goals and dreams, enjoy life to the fullest and create memories with your friends. spend time more for yourself and think for yourself and not others. 

take good care of yourself. be happy always. smile the brightest. laugh the hardest. and just enjoy life. 

always remember - ever thine, ever mine, ever ours. 

and i know you know this letter is for you sayang. thanks for remembering my birthday when nobody remembered it. at least i still know there's still someone who cared about me. i love you. 


Saturday, January 25

help this person out!

heyy guys! whats up?

so i have this friend who really is in need of money right now. so this friend gave me a link that will help oneself gain money.

its not a hassle at all! just click on the link to help out :)

just a click away in helping out other people and make others smile. enjoy your day!


Friday, January 24

a gentle self reminder

"age is just a number. it will always increase throughout the years, so why do the need of a celebration?"

someone told me this and made me realise that a birthday celebration is indeed something a human wants but not what a human needs. it is said that why do we need a celebration when we know we're still going to grow older, we're still going to be more mature and we're still going to die in the end.

sometimes what a human wants is what a human needs.

this is what people always forgot. necessity is something that a human wants and need. it's their desire to have a celebration to remind oneself that they are not alone, that all the people they care and love, care and love of them, and that they know they are not alone.

i've never had a birthday celebration for myself before. i accept it and i live with it.

and that is how i know how lonely i am. i love and care about all those who i love. but i will never know who among them loves me back. i never expect anything from anyone. however, a little appreciation wouldn't hurt right? a little reminder that someone also do care and do love you too wouldn't hurt. a little hint of someone still remembers you wouldn't hurt.

i do have many people surrounding me everyday. especially in school. since i live almost my whole life away from home, i'm always surrounded by human beings. but i would always remind myself, that i can only trust myself as i, will not leave myself alone. and everybody else will somehow leave you in the end. either they'll leave you without noticing you or leaving you with happiness or leaving you in total despair.

i learnt that throughout my whole life.

and with that, i survived. i survived even i know that i'm all alone. i survived even i know that this may be permanent. i survived even i know it hurts. and this survival is a hard one. call me a sore loser for not having friends or anybody, IDGAF. it hurts, yes. but i know if i fight back, one day i'll get my happiness. probably not now, but most possibly in the future.

forget the past. seize the day. go with the flow. and dream of the future.

how i wish it's that easy. but it's not. don't say you know what i'm going through because none of you knows. i may smile everyday, laugh with all my heart and be cheerful everytime. but deep down, i know i have a miserable life. emptiness. darkness. sadness. despair. hurt.

i may not cry. i may not complain. i may not be depressed.

who will know? who will ever know? nobody.

but i have to stay strong. for everybody who i care about, who i love. i have to keep on smiling and enjoy the laughter for them. my family. my friends. my enemies. even strangers. because they don't know what i'm dealing with. and they don't have to know.

but most of you might probably wonder why am i telling this in public?

an entry is made based on what i feel. what's inside my heart. sometimes you just need to let it go to make space for new ones to fill in. you need to let go of the despair inside your heart to make way for happiness or other sets of despair. you need to let go to forgive. and forget.

forgiveness? that's really easy for me to do. i don't keep grudges. and i can easily forgive people. but to forget? that's the hard part. if i want to forget, i'll forget about everything - including the happy moments. but that's my problem, i don't want to forget the happy memories. i want to keep them. but in the end, those memories will lead me to pain. and sorrow. so why keep them?

that is why i'm quiet. because i have nothing to say. i have no memories - either happy ones or the sad ones. because if i forget, i will forget them all. and it hurts. for a human being to not have any memories or experience. to me, let's just make a new one instead. but then, listening to people who have memories, HURTS. really hurts. because i have none. and that is sad.

yes i do realise i sound so pathetic. but i am pathetic. and i don't care of what people think of me. this is my rights to express. and my rights to write whatever i want. neither my joy nor my pain. so why do care about what i write if you don't even care about me? don't say you care but then you actually don't. actions speak louder than words. eventhough words are powerful - as it's permanent but actions stays forever as memories. which i don't have.

happy birthday amirah nadhrah binti radzuan.

may you stay strong going through everything you have in life. may you stay strong for those who you care and love. may you stay strong, happy, and keep on smiling. you ask me what i want for my birthday?

all i ever wanted is to be happy and free.

but i know you can't make it true. i know nobody can make it true. and i know i'll be the only one who can make it true. but i can't. i don't have the strength. i don't have the will. i don't have the courage.

may the odds will ever be in my favour.

Tuesday, January 21

what's happening to kids these days?

hello peeps!

its been a while since my last post. didnt have any ideas to mumble about what. as usual, the hols aint that fun but it aint that boring either. i guess? i bought books (like finallaayyhh!) to actually fill in my leisure time with some readings. since... i finish all of my series T__T spend most of the time on the computer (playing games most of the time) and yeah... spending more time at grannies'.

well today i met quite a few of my primary school friends! hahaha and talking about going down memory lane~ i almost teared up. but yeah... life gotta move on niggah.

talking about primary... i miss my friends a lot. manos... shafnaa... melenie... ezzaty... elaine... bella... kirsten... to name a few that im kinda close with :) man... i cant believe its been 8 years already since i left marian. and how time flies. but im still in contact with some of them. and not to mention some of my teachers too! teehee ^^v

trust me... i was a very naughty kid back then. even though im the head prefect but imagine if the head prefect is a retard - other kids? nahhh... they were much better. but i have no idea why the teachers chose me. prolly they thought it could discipline me? nyahahaha a bit maybe :p im still a pain the arse to my teachers :p

despite of all my mischieves and naughtyness... i still respect my teachers though. never have i ever dared to actually answer them back, be rude to them, shout at them or anything that shows me being a disrespectful student. one thing i know for sure, thats not what my parents taught me. my parents taught me to always be polite, well mannered, kind and show respect to those who are older than you. me as someone who is younger need to treat my elders so gentle and carefully not to hurt their feelings.

apart from that, i can do whatever i want. i guess? hahaha :p but i watched a video posted recently on YouTube regarding a student who with disrespect shouted at his teacher like he has the authority. and the teacher needs to apologise to him. and im like what the fffffffffffffffffffff ??!!!!!!!!!! you gotta be freaking kidding me? where have all the manners and respect and ethics go? and trust me. i bet you the kid is still in primary.

what is happening to kids these days? didnt they learn to respect the elders? especially your parents and teachers? teachers are people who educate you. give you knowledge. nurture you with moral values. i owe a lot to my teachers. they taught me many things in life and made me to open my mind to a broader perspective to see life. they saved me from becoming someone who i dont wanna be - someone who's not interested in knowledge. they taught me how to be a better person. they taught me that relationships, no matter with anyone are meant to be cherished and appreciated. they taught me that i will not succeed without the help of others. and not being selfish will make you receive more than what you have given out. they taught me that i can succeed if i never give up and if i work hard to realise my dreams.

my teachers... are one of the people who i really really am grateful to get the chance to know and be close with them.

my teachers... who never gave up on me. who always advice me. who always give me support to keep on working hard.

my teachers... who believed that i can even though the whole world though i couldnt.

my teachers... who keep on pushing me even though i am a pain the ass for everyone. my ignorance is the one that killed me.

but my teachers helped me. to not be an ignorant person when it comes to knowledge. when it comes to information. when it comes to education.

my teachers... who said being ignorant to other aspects in life is okay.

my teachers... who i can never repay back of all the sacrifices they made for me.

thank you very much to all my teachers. from kindergarten, to primary, to secondary and now in uni. thank you so much and i love ya'll!

in loving memory of the teachers in:
> SK Marian Convent Ipoh
> MJSC Merbok
> MJSC Pengkalan Hulu
> MJSC Tun Ghafar Baba
> University of Nottingham

p.s. this is the link to the video of the rude kid who shouted at his teacher and demanded the teacher to apologise to him. ASSHOLE. let us all kill this child =______=


Sunday, January 19

single and happy :)

yeah it could be lonely sometimes when you're alone and you're so used of having companies around you. but having an alone time with yourself could give you a lot of opportunities to take care of yourself and make yourself a better person. i guess?

being alone doesnt mean im lonely. being in a relationship doesnt mean im happy. right?

you can say i used to be a girl who never not have a boyfriend. when i broke up i will tend to go find a new one and get into a relationship asap. but i didnt have the happiness i was looking for. after my first major breakup with my first true love, to me every guy is just... not for me? to me i got the almost perfect apple and i lost it. and other apples are just not the one...

but thats my mistake. i keep on looking at the problem through ONE perspective. and i forgot that life is all about looking at problems from different angles and different perspectives.

and after my last breakup i found out that love never comes easy. if it comes easy then it wont last. take things slowly. and get to know someone better before you made the decision to end up with him. i guess?

i learnt that if a guy doesnt like you for who you are, then hes not worth it. eventhough you love him so dearly, and willing to sacrifice just anything.... if he asked you to change just a bit? then hes not the one. i learnt that love doesnt define who you are. love is just love. you dont need to prove anything to anyone. if you love each other that deep, you'll just know. you dont have to prove it. i learnt that love is proven through actions and not words. you might say i love you a million times a day but if your actions show otherwise, then those words are just words. actions could be seen through various kind of ways and it differs from guys to guys.

ive always got the easy kinda guys. like easy to be read easy to confess easy to say they loved me easy to blablabla and bla. a lot to list. but ive always like to hook up with someone mysterious. i guess? even i know i'll get my heart broken. but bad boys are always the cool one to hangout with.

yeah its 2014 and im starting this year as a single lady. and i kinda like it. hahaha. finally i can actually be my true self without bothering to actually please anyone and only to please myself. i dont give two shits about anything or anyone anymore. i might struggle a bit to actually flirt (i dont flirt) but yeah we learn new things everyday right? hahaha.

p.s. if anyone here have flirting tips or dating tips do drop your comments down below. i might need some advices on that lol


Sunday, January 12

what defines you?

yooooo waaasssssuuuuuppppppp?!

nothings up that much. im done with exams and assignments. got a few left but i guess im good. so as i was doing some of my research on google, i found an awesome video that is just........ soooooo awesome! it was a motivational video and the speaker was lizzie. and nothing can ever define how amazing she is in how she dealt with life.

basically lizzie is just a normal girl but she has a weird disease which made her cannot gain any weight and she is visually impaired (she can only see with her left eye). so yeah. and she said being her is not easy. due to her disease she is very very veerrryyyy thin and she needs to wear "contact" just to see. on one eye.

from the very beginning everybody hates her. everybody as we know it are assholes, JUDGMENTAL assholes treated her like shit everyday. the sad part was it started when she was still an innocent 5 year-old kid who have no idea whats going on and why are all the kids teasing her bullying her. she went back to her parents and asked "why?" imagining yourself as parents and having to tell them to understand that theyre different..... thats hard man. thats like the worst feeling ever.

but no. instead her parents said "no. theres nothing wrong with you. youre beautiful and dont let anyone of them judge you and define who you are. YOU DEFINE WHO YOU ARE". talking about awesome parents? thats about it. making you understand that your life is your choice and nobody, NOBODY can ever decide what your choices are for your life.

they call you ugly? beauty CANNOT be defined by anything.

they call you stupid? bitch please im on my way getting my degree now. and youre calling me stupid?

they call you short? im short and cute. niggah please its not like im the only one whos short in this world.

they call you fat? im fat yeah sure. i still weigh less than you. i still weigh less than 60 and you bitches who weigh more than me calling me fat?

and yes. ive been through lots of those shits in school and im just immuned to it already. ive been in worse situation even. living in a school with 800++ students who hated you for no reason during the 1st day of registration. FIRST DAY! omg. like seriously? i didnt do shit. all i did was listening to my mp3 and just smile if theres anyone whos looking at me like im an alien. and trust me. if people look at me that way and i look normal. i have a normal face, no disease. bitch i look like a human being yet they stare at me like i came from pluto or something. imagine if youre lizzie.

well who are you to say some people are ugly? who are to call some people with dirty names?


and do you think i care? bitch please. i dont give any shits about you. call me anything you want. spam on my facebook wall. write an entry about me in your blog. write in on the wall. on my table. in my books. everytime they did that i just read it and smirk. bitch you aint gonna define who i am. I DEFINE MYSELF. call me short, fat, ugly and stupid. i know who i am and i know how i am.

i dont have to define myself here. i dont need to prove anything to anyone. i just prove it to myself. yeah nadhrah you have gone through a lot of shits and yet you are smiling today. dont give a damn about all those who thought you should just literally disappear from this world. theyre not worth it.

youre asking me to kill myself coz im ugly? coz im fat? coz im short? coz im stupid?

firstly, nobody is ugly in this world. everyone is beautiful. Allah will never create anything ugly. then why are you calling people ugly and shits like that? "oh im embarrassed to be your classmate coz youre the ugliest bitch in this school" and i was like wuuuuttt? talking about smart kids showing off their "smartness" by talking crap like that. and yes i was in one of the best schools in malaysia. but the mentality of the students there? well now i know why people call them smart. theyre just book smart. they study, read books, memorise them and get all correct in exams.

and you call me stupid? HUGE CAPITAL LOL FOR YOU.

you calling me short? i have a million of friends who are just the same height as me. guys even. nothing is wrong with that. just because you are slightly taller than me doesnt prove youre better than me. if youre tall but youre still an asshole. youre just an asshole. you calling me fat? define fat. just because i look bigger than everyone else that has the same height as me doesnt mean im fat. niggah i weigh 53 kg for goodness sake. and i wear M size. what about those who wears bigger sizes than me?

sometimes i just dont understand why people hate me for no reason. some people they just hate me without even knowing me. some random people who never met me, lives in another state than me, who never went into the schools i attended yet they still hate me for no damn reason. really? and you calling me a stupid bitch? man. society is just so messed up. when some people talk, i just rather jump from burj dubai or just blend my brain.

some people say that im hated of the things i say...... oh well most probably. im rude yes i know. but im NOT always rude. ask my friends or people who HANGSOUT A LOT with me. not those who just know my name but i dont even know who they are. like bitch please. i never talk to you and youre calling me rude? well whatever. that is why i dont talk that much. i rather say nothing than say something and get hated because of it. might as well just live in my own world, complete my studies and earn a living.

you are not here to impress society or people.


my advice to everyone whos out there and have no idea why people hated you. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. do not ever let anyone defines who you are. YOU DEFINE YOURSELF. they say youre ugly? bitch please beauty can never be defined. theyre saying youre stupid? shut up go study and show to them: haha i got my masters and now im your boss. who youre calling stupid again? theyre saying youre fat? eat anything you want. you wanna be fit... hit the gyms. dont eat till you have an obese disease or something.

impress youself. and not everyone else. theyre just simply not worth it.

and if you say nobody is gonna love you? true love will always find its way. Allah has created human in pairs. you'll find your prince charming one day. dont worry. lifes short but everything thats good will come to those who are patient. and being patient is just what you need. if hes your soulmate, youll know. he will not define you and will love you for who you are, what you are. no matter how.

so cheers to all the people who are so awesome by not letting anybody define them and love life!