the guy who changed my life

let me tell you a story about someone who taught me a lot about life and love.

i knew him through a mutual friend when he added me on YM. i was seriously not a friendly person to begin with and yes, i'm not so good at making friends - especially the opposite sex. yes, i'm outspoken but i use a lot of sarcasm in my vocab and yes, i do swear a lot. most prolly one of the reasons why guys hate me so much (yeah you know guys... they want a lady - soft spoken, gentle, "perempuan melayu terakhir", do not swear and shit like that). and i'm totally the opposite of that.

at first when he added me i'm like wtf? i don't even know you and how the freaking F can you add me on my personal messenger! i was furious so i scolded my friend who gave me my e-mail and he's like "chill. he's cool. trust me when you get to know him, you'll enjoy his company". and yes turned out to be he is the most understanding and caring person i've ever met. i'm mostly on my own and was lonely and he was always there for me. he helped a lot through everything. EVERYTHING.

we met for the first time at the entrance of Petrosains (which is an annually routine for my dad to bring me there) and it was damn i was like a shy barbie doll. Farah didn't thought i would be that kind of girl that will hide behind her just because i was meeting my boyfriend for the first time (mind me, yes he was my first XD). then, that was it. he is sooooo adorable! i went to boarding school and we'll meet from time to time when i'm back home.

he'll come down to ipoh from taiping by bus (since he has no license) and i was flattered by his determination to see me. he does love me very much. i know. when i was in form 2, and he was in his form 4, we got into the same school! yay! yupp, he got into the same school as me. actually i got to know it first coz abang wan told me. that spoiler piece of crap! hahaha. he thought i knew it already coz he thought i called my superman first as the mjsc results went out that day. but i was so nervous so i called abang wan first to calm down but he spilled the news first. so here's the convo:

AW: eh kekasih hati myra dapat mrsm ph
me: oh okayy
AW: ehh okay je?
me: happy laa... hmmm...
AW: myra ni blurr ke ape?
me: *thinking*processing* EH THATS MY SCHOOL!!! hahahaha omgomgomgomg really?!!
AW: see? takkan okay je.

so i was jumping around happily screaming to everyone "omg my boyfriend's in the same school as me!!!" and i called him straight away

me: hyyyeeee *blushing*sengih macam kerang busuk*
sweetheart: hello sayang. how are you?
me: heh. sihat je. so amacam?
sweetheart: ermm abang dapat mrsm ph.
me: waaaa congrats!
sweetheart: hehehe thanks. ermm....
me: heeee kite satu sekolah laa nanti!
sweetheart: hehehe yupp! omg like finally! macam tak sangka je....

and so the rest of the convo is history and private no need to know hahaha. i remembered during the registration i saw him unpacking his stuff from his car to his room (since his room is just opposite mine) :p and so i was soooo excited! i didn't talk to him even though i've seen him like a million times. at the dining hall, at the surau (kat surau pun nak menggatal!) hahaha. sat at the front row and he sat at the back row so senang nak skodeng lol :p and his first words to me was during the orientation night when i sang in front with my team and as i finished my performance he whispered "sedap suara" and i blushed and i just jeling je. marah pulak tu. hahaha. and he laughed "garangnya".

ahhh memories~

and then after that i just tried my best to ignore him and hide from him as i don't wanna meet him. i was so shy! i am. well i was. hahaha. wait, still am. hahaha. until one day (still orientation week) i got the same team as him! i tried my very best to not be in the same team but well orang kata jodoh kan.... hahaha. we had to do a paper helicopter and it's like a competition between teams.

sweetheart: hyyyyeeee *sengih*
me: oh hye *control macho*
sweetheart: so cepat ahh buat!
me: ape orang pulak. dia ah buat! dia ade pekakas.
sweetheart: *campak pencilbox* sekarang dia ada. cepat buat!
me: woyy apasal pulak?
sweetheart: *jegil mata* buaaattt.....
me: *tunduk* okayy :(

everyone on the team was like err... whats going on? coz everyone didn't even know each other and we're already fighting like apebende ntah. hahaha. and the rest is history. we dated a lot back then (since we're in the same school lol) he helped me with my studies and my problems. and every morning i'll paste post it notes on his desk with love notes hehehe :p exchange letters (even though we called each other every night and texted like every second) hahaha.

and the whole school (including the teachers) started to smell something. they couldn't figure out who with who but they knew something was up. and when the students started to gossip (since they found out our myspace accounts) hahahahahahahaha so yeah. many many memories. but the one that i will remember the most would be the sunset event. well i know he still remembers this.

he's like the most almost perfect guy i've ever met. no flaws. has everything a girl wants in her boy. the perfect set. but i did a mistake. i broke his heart. i broke him. and that's the most stupidest thing ever that i will forever regret in my life. even my cousin hates me for that. i shouldn't have done that. but i did. and i'm the guilty one. and i will never forgive myself.

why am i posting this entry about you?

it's his birthday today. happy birthday superman! ^_^ i wished you every year but i think you've changed your number already. i don't think you'll ever read my blog (wait yeah we've lost contact for like forever already) hahaha. but i just wanna say happy birthday! may all your wish come true. semoga panjang umur murah rezeki dan berjaya dalam hidup. whomever that ends up with you is a really really lucky girl. i envy her so much. but i know she'll love you with all her heart and she's definitely better and the best for you. she'll bring out the best in you. and will make you the happiest man alive. i'm sorry for all my wrong doings. you will always have a special place in my heart. and in my prayers.

thank you for bringing out the best in me. making me the happiest girl ever. giving me the best moments in my life. teaching me about life and making me understand what love is. giving me the support and motivation when i was at my lowest point. never give up on me. always be patient with my attitude. love me and care for me like nobody ever did. showing me what love is. telling me that my family always do love me, they just don't have time to tell me or to show me. always be there by my side, be my shoulder for me to cry on. always be the one who wiped my tears and bring sunshine when it's raining. always be my comforter to make me feel comfortable. my personal pillow (he is!) my laughing machine. my clown. my best friend. my brother.

there's nothing that i can do to repay you back for what you've done. for what you've become in my life. and i lost half of my life when i lost you. and that's my lost. i'm sorry again for everything. happy birthday again superman. if you're reading this :) thank you again for everything. take care! ^^v






xoxo,
n.